Thursday, January 4, 2018


Since we are a few days in to 2018 I figure its time to talk resolutions.

Last year, I never documented my New Year’s resolutions.  I can’t remember what they were, probably because I forgot all about them 11 months ago.

But I was reading a post the other day and saw a list of  New Year’s resolutions for busy moms. I got excited because I am both busy and a mom. This was my list, right?


The first item I saw said “Create an Etsy store".

No joke.

Um...if I had an Etsy store it would probably be called “Crap & More by Roxie” and would specialize in items that were crafted through tragic accidents and featured products with misspelled words.

Forget resolutions, so many resolutions are unreachable, especially if you’re an underachiever like me. So this year, I’ve decided to offset the lists created by those parenting experts with my own list of Mom Goalz.

Here are 15 Mom Goalz that I would pretty much really sort of like to do in 2018:

1. Keep the average mpg in my minivan above 20. You’re probably like really? That’s the first thing? That’s even a thing? You betcha.

2. Go ahead and mark "become a fitness guru off the list". I do plan on keeping up my workout routine and living la vida loca low carb life, I know that I will not be becoming the next Jamie Eason anytime soon. Darn.

3. Sleep more.  Hold on Roxie, lets talk about this... if you could sleep more, don’t you think you would? Sleeping is the best. I'm still working out the kinks on this one, like, when am I supposed to fit in more sleep, exactly? When the toddler is roaming the house like a midget T-Rex, stomping over everything and roaring while trying to grab every little dangerous item that his short arms cannot quite reach? Should I sleep more at work? I only do a little right now — just kidding, human resources!

4. Eat fewer donuts.  No, that’s not powdered sugar on my shirt! #recoveringdonutatarian

5. Get organized. This includes both car and purse. I few days ago I found a bag of sliced apples I bought 3 weeks ago still stuck in the minivan. Not kidding. I'm 100% sure the apples where fermented. Makes sense why it  has been smelling like an open container up in the minivan. I will also include "keeping up the laundry" with this one, too. I would like to become so organized the laundry that I don’t have to sniff pants I've picked up off the floor to see if they are clean enough to wear again

6. Do not neglect Josh so much. He needs my attention, too. Therefore, I will not neglect to give my husband a high five each morning before work. I will even try to throw in a wink every once in a while, if time allows. I will also compromise more, too, but I will not make compromises when deciding which pizza establishment to order from. Period.

7. Buy jeans that are 2 sizes bigger so it just looks like I lost weight. GENIUS!!!! Also- Remember to tell myself that numbers on the scale measure awesomeness, not self-worth. Man, I need to put this on a shirt!

8. Host more game nights. Game night is always so fun in theory. I bet it would be even better in practice. Which is why THIS Saturday we are hosting our first game night of 2018! Man--- I am killin' this resolution crap and IT IS ONLY THE 4TH!

9. Delete the Facebook app from your phone and only log in to check it once a day. I don't know exactly what I will do with all my free time yet, but you should plan on a lot more super-awesome blog posts. So follow me, you big loser!!! Maybe I'll spend the extra time reading more. In 2018 I hope to read more books and be jealous of other people’s Facebook lives a little less.

10. Make a list of all my passwords. This should  save me approximately 337 hours a year trying to remember them.

11. Stop texting my kids when they’re in another room to tell them dinner’s ready. No explentation necessary. The bottom line is I've got Fitbit steps to get in!

12. Find more "me" time. I have no less than 3,781 urgent tasks that must be addressed before my head meets the pillow everyday so me time is usually mission impossible. Maybe a more realistic goal would be to wash my hair more than 2x per week or what about, make time for one activity that interests me every day that does not include having to re-glue a gel nail back on. Forget it- I will just make time for one uninterrupted shower every day. #glamlife

 13. Watch less TV. Right after I finish Sons of Anarchy! ALSO KNOWN AS THE GREATEST SERIES, EVER! Shut-up, I know I am late to the party.

14. Be a better disciplinarian. This will include not laughing when my kids do something silly while I am trying to scold them or sending them to time out....okay, I am totally lying. WE LAUGH AT EVERYTHING ALL IN THE LONG HOUSE! Ryker poops on his sister's floor- laughing!

15. Go somewhere interesting on a holiday vacation. That's simple enough. Kids, are yall ready for Vegas?

What are your goalz for 2018?