Wednesday, September 20, 2017

My acting gig that never happened.

When I turned the big 3-0 I few months back, I composed my very first "Dirty-Thirty Bucket List" that I am determined to complete during my thirties.

Its basically a list of things Ive always wanted to do or just things that I think would be fun that I want to do before I get old. HA!

Yesterday I was able to cross one of those things off my bucket list.

I auditioned for a community play.

Yes, like a real-life PLAY.

Its a comedy so that was the great part.

That was also the only great part about yesterday.

Let me just start by saying I was prompt, early, and completely out of my comfort zone. And things got 0% better when the others started to arrive.

I would of SWORE I was trapped in a high school theater class!

Everyone was under 20. And I'm  pretty sure they thought I was someones mom. #notkidding

Would you believe no one even asked me what classes I was taking or what my major was? #rude

I even wore my hair in my favorite Disney channel inspired hair- the half-bun! PLUS- my face was totally broke out yesterday and I NEVER have a pimple.

I thought for SURE I was looking extra youthful.

Apparently not.

There a couple of things, though, I learned from this experience that I will definitely do if I ever decided to audition again. The single most important thing was:

#1  Do a little research on the play before I decided to audition for it.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement when the director announced that there was slight nudity and that every girl in the play ended up in their panties at some point.

And that we needed to be comfortable on stage kissing.

I don't think she took me seriously when I gasped and asked if this was "50 Shades of Grey" or sometin'. I told her I  ain't about that life!!!!

The only thing I did to prepare was waste an hour there rehearsing my  "southern belle" accent. And it turns out, the director asked us to just speak in our normal tone.

Because mine was a cross between Goofy and Dolly Parton.

I was definitely the odd ball in the group. I was the fattest. Clearly the oldest. And I am 100% sure I am the only one who left in a minivan.

Yall, I don't think my audition could of went any better.... unless she would of asked me to twerk or somethin.