Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Wanted: Full Time Feral Toddler (Permanent Contract)

We are currently looking for a full time ferocious toddler to join our team.

 Job Description:

Job Specification
The ideal candidate will be required to permanently  ride on mama's hip and any movement from this would result in immediate melt-downs. Such candidate should also be proficient in whining, with previous experience in planning and executing public tantrums. Candidate should also be fluent in the art of food refusal. Candidate should also be strong willed and posses a fiery temper.
Nap takers need not apply.

Primary Duties:
-Must be willing to delay all trips from the house by a minimum  of 30 minutes.
-Follow mom to the toilet.
-Demand Bubble Guppies, on repeat.
-Manage the sleep cycle for the whole family.

Hours: Full time. (Distinction between night and day not necessary.)

Contract Permanent. They cant fire you.

Luckily this position was filled about 16 months ago and we are happy to say he is fulfilling the job wonderfully.