Thursday, October 13, 2016

My Short Lived Rap Career

Recently we've discovered our oldest son, CJ (age 8) loves rap.

And I'm ecstatic because we now actually have something (other than our love for Chinese buffets) in common.

The first week of school he was pumped to show us the rap he made up on the playground when he battled a fellow 3rd grader in a "rap-off". 

We had so much fun listening to his six-word battle-winning rap, that I decided to help him, cause clearly the kids going places, I mean, his rap included the words: Rap, Clap, and Tap.
Genius, I know.

So it was then I decided that we (CJ and I) would have daily "rap-offs" in the car on the way home.

CJ was thrilled.

Rilyn.... not so much. 

"That's the dumbest thing, ever!" exclaimed Rilyn, angrily. 

She immediately folded her arms and pouted, "I dont want to listen to yalls stupid raps on the way home everyday!"
It was clearly the end of the world. 

I explained that if she didn't quit throwing a fit, that she would be the subject of our raps.

She didn't believe me so I gave her a preview:

"Rilyn, Rilyn, she aint smilin'
 She throwin' a fit, 
cause I'm about to spit-
a rap, 
make her wanna tap-

look at her glance, 

out the window, 

but she still my friend, doe."

"Okay, okay, stop!! Please!" she exclaimed, giggling, hysterically, "you're so dumb!"

We were half way in to our battle, and I was spitting mad lyrics, stuff like: 

"When I rap they call me Dragon...

Make you wonder what happ-un...

I spit words that make you burn...

On the porch I sit like a fern"

"Dragon? You made that up, no one calls you Dragon!" exclaimed Rilyn.

"Listen, I use to be the queen of rap-offs when I was in school. You have no idea who you are talking to." I informed her.

Everyone giggled.

"Yeah, right Mom!" they all yelled.

Flash forward to the next afternoon:
"Hey Mom, you know how you went to school with Mrs. Jones, my SRA teacher? Well I asked her if you use to be the queen of rap-offs and if everyone called you Dragon because you would burn people with your awesome raps and she said you're lying."

"Hold-up! Cut the mic, you did whaaaat?"

I like to think it takes a lot to embarrass me, but listen when I say, my embarrassment meter was FULL.

If you could see my face at this point it  I am sure it was some shade of burgundy.  

And my embarrassment meter completely exploded when two days later I ran into this Mrs. Jones at Walmart and the first thing she asked me, laughing, was "Did he tell you what he asked me?"

Rilyn, five minutes later, "Now THAT was funny! I wish you could of seen the look on your face, Mom!"

And on that note, my rap career is over.