Showing posts from September, 2016

So much for a relaxing uneventful weekend...

This weekend both of my SIL's and their kids came for a much needed visit. 

What I thought was going to be a nice relaxing, uneventful, weekend quickly turned around when I arrived home after shopping to find Raigen mad because CJ had been chasing her and squirting her in the face with a bottle, contents unknown. 

I quickly had her retrieve the villain and his accomplice, the "water" bottle, which actually turned out to be a clear, unmarked, chemical spray bottle which contained an unknown liquid.  He apparently found this bottle upstairs in the craft room.

The craft room hasn't had visitors in at least two years.

"CJ, why would you chase your sister and spray her with a chemical bottle?
You dont even know what is in there! You could of blinded her... or hurt her really bad!" I scolded him.

"Chill mom... " he said casually, "its just salt water."

"And  how do you know its just salt water?" I asked, by this point I was furious…

That one time my kid embarrassed me: #837,322

"Kids are so funny," people use to tell me before I had kids.

But, are they? I thought. 

Funny... how?

They even told me I wouldn't remember my life before kids.

They told me that having kids would be the, "Best Thing Ever!"

Granted, this is all probably true, long-term. But it is definitely not true at those 3am feedings... or when you wake up to urine soaked sheets.... or when your son decides to tell your whole office a very, VERY inappropriate joke that he picked up at the Mickey Gilley concert that his Dad took him to.

Nope... not so funny.

"Hey, you wanna hear a joke I heard at the Mickey Gilley concert?" CJ asked my office yesterday after school. Everyone was all ears. "There was this boy and he wanted to eat breakfast...." he started. "And so his mom said go do your chores first then you can eat breakfast. So the little boy did. The little boy went to feed the cow and they cow's tail slapped him in the face so the boy got mad…

Raigen {Fall Ball-2016}

Isn't she the cutest little softball player.... like, ever?!
We had exactly 30 seconds to run on the field after her game to snap this!

I think it captures her personality pretty well! 

My family is so ..... darling.

Why did I think taking a 1 year old out to dinner would be okay?


What is wrong with me?

Tonight after Raigen's softball game we decided to grab dinner at The Blue Duck.

Apparently Ryker had other plans.

I don't know why people have omitted to remind me not to take my one year old in public and how it is perfectly normal to not eat out with your kids when they are between the ages of  1 to 3 1/2.

I feel like I have PTSD now and memories of my other three at this age are slowly but surely coming back to me. Sidenote: I need a drink.

Ryker's performance was so loud that he and I literally had to get up and leave as soon as our food arrived because, although alcohol sales were sky-high at The Blue Duck this evening, I was being conscious of those who were trying to drowned-out the screams of my wild child with glasses of Jack & Coke. Someone had to make sure these people could still drive home.

So, quickly, I packed up my food, threw the diaper bag over my shoulder,…


I've been thinking about hobbies a lot here lately.

Hobbies are cool. They make you cool.

I use to have a ton of hobbies before kids.

I painted.

I ate out, a lot.

I traveled.

I volunteered for a nonprofit.

I played the trumpet.

I actually cleaned my house.

But now... now... things are different. I am on my ninth year of marriage with four kids and no hobbies.

This is bad.

Reeeeeally bad.

So basically, I am hobbie-less.

Unless you count these:
My kids. Do I really need to elaborate? From the second I open my eyes my day revolves around these buttheads.

Making lists. I friggin' loooooove making lists. Who doesn't? I make several a day: grocery list, to-do list, wish I could do list. I even have a "To-buy" list which includes everything from this years Christmas list to Ryker's next birthday. I see it and like it.... I list it!

Pretending to write a blog. I cant really call myself a writer because Josh says there are too many grammatical errors, but I do enjoy …

We're getting a reality TV show!!!

Ha! Just kidding.

The funny thing is, people are always saying "ya'll need a reality TV show!"

My family maybe crazy-funny, but if there's one thing I know that would make reality TV not pretty..... its real-life motherhood!

Seriously....picture Melissa McCarthy meets.... a Martha Stewart wanna-be. She'd be all like... "Hi, I'm Roxie and this is my blog.....blah, blah, blah."

Picture me in a moo-moo with a koolaid mustache yelling at my kids, tripping, trying not to step on my son's pet lizard that I didn't even know he had, cussing. 

Not Pretty.

Picture youngest daughter has lost one of her softball cleats and is having a melt-down, my oldest daughter has applied more make-up than anyone who even works at a circus should have on, and that one year old just found a full glass of ice tea and has dumped it all over himself ... Oh! and your oldest son cant seem to locate that pet lizard....all just before we are heading out the door.