Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Talk

There are two things in life that I have purposely avoided thus far:

One: Bikinis

Two:  "The Talk" with my soon-to-be-preteen. 

So, you can imagine my relief/shock when Rilyn approached my younger sister with "the question" this past weekend.

"Where do babies come from?" she casually asked my sister.

Side note:
When did the stork stop becoming a believable answer for this? I mean, the kid does still believe in Santa and The Tooth Fairy.

"I just don't know how, like, my Dad's blood got in her body. It's weird. I just don't get it." she said curiously.

"I look like both my Mom and my Dad. How is that even possible?" she added.
The kid is smart. She get it from her mama.

And just like all things bad, I am going to blame my mother-n-law for this one. 100%.

Last week Rilyn asked me what the word "condom" meant.
And when I questioned where she had even heard that word she informed me that she was watching TV with Lubby and she heard it.
Hmmm..... shocking. Strike one, Lubby.

And a few days later I walked into the living room to find my mother-n-law watching Naked and Afraid.

With all my kids.

I mean, whats next?!

Is she going to offer Raigen a cigarette? Pass around shots of Hot Damn after dinner? 
Or take CJ for his first tattoo?
Because we all know he'd be down for that!

This woman has got to be stopped.

She is forcing me  to have conversations with my child that cause me to have cold sweats and night terrors!