You wanna know a deep, dark secret about me?
Late at night, after everyone is sound asleep, I roam the house looking for trouble.
I like to take my kids' IPads from where they are suppose to be put up at and hide them in strange places:
Like, underneath the couch.
And, behind the living room television.
Or, on a pantry shelf next to the Capri Suns.
I do this to ruin their day. I like running my kids' day.... doesn't everyone?
While I'm at it, I usually rummage through their dresser drawers and remove all of their underwear and favorite Bratz PJs. I also purposely leave one of their shoes in the living room and throw the other one into the back seat of my minivan. Or randomly place it in the closet where it belongs. You know, just for laughs.
Also, in my spare time, I like to scatter an entire brand-new box of crayons that's I just purchased two hours earlier onto the kitchen floor and walk over them for no apparent reason. After I've happily stomped on crayons for a good twenty minutes, I usually demand the kids clean up after me,
When I'm super-duper bored, I leave the crayons to Ryker and let him gnaw on them for a few minutes, you know, to help with teething.
And if Ryker doesn't make a complete meal out of them, I finish them off by throwing half of them away, putting a couple in the pocket of my son's jeans just before I wash them, and then I usually leave the rest on the kitchen table with a demand letter giving my kids specific instructions to tag the kitchen table.
I am such a trouble maker.
And I must be stopped.
At least that's what my kids will tell you.