Monday, July 25, 2016

Hey, you wanna be a millionaire?

According to my friends there are quiet a lot of ways that Moms can strike it rich by working from home.

Here are the two most popular that I see on my news-feed:

Option A: health and fitness supplements and a magic body wrap that makes you instantaneously skinny.

Option B: Thirty dollar mascara that is guaranteed to give you eyelashes like Christina Aguilera.

Due to my lack of physical fitness, patience, and desire to have movie star lashes I am left with no other choice but to remain poor.
Or so I thought!
According to my latest private message from a Facebook pal, I am just the person they are looking for.
To peddle 'skinny wraps'.
Never-mind my thick thighs and muffin top, it is actually due to a previous experiment experience that I must sadly decline all job offers to sell wraps.

A few years ago I actually tried the wrap. One of my friends excitedly signed up to become the next self-made millionaire and conned me in to wasting twenty five bucks.

"Just try it!" She said "You get your money back if it doesn't work."

Reluctantly I did.
 I was tired of looking like a flying squirrel so I wrapped my arms.
"In just forty-five minutes your arms are going to be ready for the beach!" she said.

Forty-five minutes later, I shook my arms and they still jiggled.
Except this time they glistened from the wrap cream.

I was over joyed with excitement when I saw my sparkly fat arms.

"You have to wait thirty-six hours for the full results," she added. 
Apparently my arms were super duper, duper, jiggly and required the full treatment.
Thirty-six hours later and I had shocking results, just as she promised!
To my complete surprise I measured my arms and I had lost two inches.
Two inches in one arm!

And none in by other arm...
At that point I requested a partial refund.
Since I had such amazing results she then asked if I would like to sign up under her and start selling them too.
Easy money, I'm telling you. Easy money.
Regretfully, I declined.