Friday, August 23, 2013

Embarrasing Their Mama: Episode #430,431 & 432.

I'm just not going to take them in public anymore. Seriously.

Because it never fails. Every.Single.Time. I take them in public they thoroughly embarrass me. And believe it or not, I'm not use to it yet.

And yes, I am keeping count, you know, for future use.

Like when I choose to crash their prom with some of my cool dance moves to pay them back.

Just an idea.

Anyways, if you know our family, then you know that we joke. A LOT. We kid around with them, which may or may not ALWAYS involve the words "Poop Head", which brings me to Episode #430.

While at gymnastics one evening Josh and Raigen were playing around. An elderly 70ish year old man was sitting next to them observing and thought he'd join in on some of the fun too. Big mistake.

"That's my Daddy!" The old man said kidding around with Raigen.

"No hes not!" She screamed.

"I will punch you in the face, you poop head!"

Shes 3. And she talks like that to strangers. I know, it sounds really bad.

The old man did not find that very funny. And he did not speak to her for the rest of the evening.

You see, at home, this is totally normal verbiage. She calls us a poop head... we call her fart breath... and it goes on ... and on ... and on. However, it never occurred to me that this may one day bite me in the butt.

Oh shes just 3. She'll grow out of that. You say.

I'm not so sure about that.....

Which brings me to Episode #431. Rilyn. The five year old.

The other evening we decide to take the kids out to dinner after cheer leading and football practice. While at dinner the waitress begins to bring out our meals. She placed Josh's plate in front of him and said, "Here Hun.."

Rilyn then yelled.."Um excuse me! Why is she calling you Hun!?"

No one said a word.

Oh dear Lord my face had to be solid white.

And lets not leave C.J out. A while back were standing in line at walmart. He then began talking to little boy in line in front of us.

"This is my mom and my sister." The  little boy explained to C.J.

"Why is your moms teeth all broken!?" C.J bluntly asked. Loudly.

Granted, her teeth were all 'broken'.. and black .. and rotted. But WHY did my child have to point that out!?

Its never ending with these wild animals I call children. The truth is... if you want a good laugh. Just take them in public. Period.